THE LAST SEVEN

After disgracing himself utterly with his recent Zoo column scandal, Danny Dyer frankly needed to do something special to turn the situation around. He needed something bold. Something out of left field. Something to make us re-evaluate him. Danny needed some blue-sky thinking. What he has decided to do is take a role in a terrible British film opposite Tamer Hassan. Now, in terms of career redemption, that is not exactly thinking outside the box. It is thinking tucked well inside the box, with the flaps sellotaped shut over your head. This film is set in a post-apocalyptic London, in which there appear to be only seven people left alive – everyone else having mysteriously vanished – who are amnesiacs plagued with memory flashbacks. One of them is a soldier, played by Hassan, rounding up the others and trying to keep order. Dyer plays the sinister "Angel of Death". All this could have made an interesting film, but the dialogue and direction are just so agonisingly laboured. There is one nice moment: a languid, drunken poshie called Henry, played by John Mawson, is reluctant to move, so Hassan's squaddie shoots the glass of booze out of his hand. "A simple allons-y would have sufficed," Henry drawls mildly.

Genre : West Movie

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